The (in)visibility of us...
by Dawn Cavanagh

Here in Johannesburg there is much talk about the invisibility of lesbians and how we must work to “make” lesbians more visible. Having come from the city of Durban—a now seemingly small sea-side city—I look about me and think that besides the fact that we can’t be “made” visible, we lesbians are everywhere! We are so ‘out’ it often makes me wonder if we are threatening to break through the supposed 10% barrier. I don’t think that has anything to do with the fact that I work in a black lesbian organization, where every staff member (except for the one token heterosexual) and the constituency are lesbian. Rather, it has to do with the fact that we are all about the streets, at schools, in our religious institutions, in workplaces, in entertainment venues.

The assertion of our invisibility is a lie at worst, and a distortion at best, conjured up by those who simply refuse to see us, or are too scared to want to recognize difference. But the fact remains, we walk about in our selves, our ‘look’, our clothes, our gendered identities. Often we get defined as butch or femme, but we are anything and everything in between butch and femme, like the androgynous type or my personal favourite: scruffy boy. Some of us may have these defiant, bored, ‘I’m an ordinary girl from Jozi with a puppy named Ashes’ look about us, but the point is we just walk or ride about as everyone else does, gazing into the world (whatever is there for gazing at) albeit with this look that shouts Lesbian! Dyke! or whatever names we want to attach to our women-loving selves. And even if sometimes there is no shout, we just are. We, ourselves play these games of spotting, and we know and see, because we want to choose to see ourselves. This is the answer to invisibility--choosing. Choosing to see, know and recognize. And those who speak of our invisibility just don’t, or wont choose to see.

And yes, some of us resist visibility. Why visibility is the question? Why should I be visible, any more visible than the next person, human being, woman? Yes, the ‘our clothes don’t define us’ line is definitely there and a legitimate political statement. But for many of us, our clothes assert our resistance, they are one of the many political statements at our disposal to assert that we are different because we are physically emotionally and sexually attracted to, and connected to other women. I will seldom go into territory that is occupied by those hostile to my sexuality, to my sexual orientation dressed in any ambiguous, androgynous way. I assert my lesbian self in strong and overt ways through rejecting mainstream notions of femininity and womanhood.

Claiming lesbian invisibility pretends to be a truth. But the real truth is that we are hypervisible, so visible in fact that we are physically and mentally attacked, brutalized and even killed for our lesbian selves. We are discriminated against, stigmatized and our dignity, freedom and right to autonomy denied and stripped from us - because we are here and present everywhere.

The claim of invisibility reminds me of a friend who is differently/[dis]abled who says what she hates most is when people avert their gaze from her. They are clearly uncomfortable with her difference and don’t know how to look at her, therefore they don’t see her. Please open your eyes, we are out. We are walking around, as our selves. Don’t avert your eyes from our lesbian selves.

And fellow lesbians, dykes, butches, femmes, androgynous, nothing, flexible, other: if they are right—just in case they are right, and we are less than visible—then we need you to articulate us back into visibility...

FEW is in the middle of an extended transition as a black lesbian organization. These are hard and exciting times. Whilst we move into the new phase, which we will share with you soon, we are exploring new ways of being of lesbians in this country. And we want, need, expect you to write. Write to life. Or just leave your mark: take pictures, express your ways of being – young, older, parent, black, poor, unemployed, survivor, victim, HIV positive, activist, fun lover, pleasure seeker, drug user, butch/femme. Be visible. Let’s get them to look elsewhere for a project to design, a problem to create, a solution to find.

© 2007

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